So you’re going to be a parent.

You might be asking yourself a series of important questions:

Will I be a good parent? • Will I be able to afford this? • Can I ever have sex again?

Well, the answer to all these questions is a rock-solid no. But just because your existence is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn’t mean your kid has to be as lame as you’re about to become. That’s why I’ve written this book—to teach you how to be an awesomommy or legendaddy.

The Bro Code for Parents will help you:

Choose a baby name that won’t get your kid stuffed into a junior high locker •

Interview and hire a smokin’ hot nanny • Teach your child instant classics like “The Boobs on the Bus” and “Bro, Bro, Bro Your Boat”

With full-color illustrations, interactive work sheets, and even suggestions for how to turn a stroller into a broller, The Bro Code for Parents gives you all the tools you’ll need to raise your child to be almost as awesome as I am. Almost.