I can tell instantly if a man is a dominant or submissive, regardless of what he tells me about himself. I just tell him to sit on the couch. If he's submissive, he'll obey at once. If he looks at me for a moment, deciding for himself, he's a dominant.

Dominants often make excellent submissives. They know the rules of the game.

In SM, things are often happning on several diffrent levels at once. At one level, the dominant is selfish & cruel; at another the dominant is giving & nuturing.